I originally had a very light work week planned. I was fine with that, to an extent. I knew I was going to need to keep myself busy with tasks and projects because back to back to back to back to back unexpected days off would take its toll on my psyche. I dwell, I beat myself up about not getting more done, having more motivation in my “real” job search, I eat a whole bag of chips, etc. It isn’t becoming. So, Sunday night I made my to-do list long and lean. I was ready. I was going to do a good clean on Monday, start the week off fresh. Well, it is Thursday and I just got done cleaning…
…and that’s not a bad thing.
I was asked to go into work some more this week because of an unfortunate circumstance. This sort of spontaneity, letting go of my “plan” without really stressing is part of being underemployed that I really enjoy. I was considering this morning how I would have taken such a drastic schedule change a couple years ago. I would’ve hated it. In many of my former jobs, I needed a plan for each day because: 1) Preparedness makes education more effective and a less stressful and 2) In my particular position, I literally didn’t know what was going to knock on my door, so a plan was imperative in terms of getting work done in between my trouble-shooting and crisis-solving.
But, right now, I’m not in positions that really stress me out. My jobs right now don’t keep me up at night. There occasional times where I’m annoyed, have a stressful situation happen, get fixated on a mistake I might have made, but, to be very frank, I no longer dread what my job will bring. Don’t get me wrong, I loved my job, but with it came a lot of un-fun conversations and topics. Many of them dropped on my lap like the short-fused case of Black Cats that exploded in my grandma’s lap in the 60s. My lists were my peace because after you have to call someone’s parents and tell them how they’re child is threatening to harm themselves, it was calming to go back to a box I could check of my neon Post-its.
So here is my pep-talk to myself the next time I have multiple days off mid-week, start to dwell, beat myself up, and compare myself to all my fully-employed, degree-using, retirement-planning, friends.
Consider this: You aren’t in jobs you ever planned on doing. You like them for the most part. You are very stress-free about said jobs. You have learned new skills you never knew existed. Your background and personality have helped you be successful in your current jobs, in many times making you better at these new jobs. After all, is someone yelling at you over a return receipt really that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things? You aren’t a disappointment just because you aren’t doing what you thought you’d do for a very long time. You can still do good things in the work you do, it just might impact different groups of people. Money isn’t everything. You have a rockstar husband who is amazingly talented and you live a very comfortable life, where your wages are small but matter. You are doing enough and you are good enough.
Considering I half-planned on a few pity parties and some tearful afternoons spent dwelling, this week has been great for me. I let go of my plan and the week actually got better.
In closing, I have also had some great milestones and observations this week that I would love to share.
– Man commuting home via rollerblades. In Janary. On city streets.
– I used emojis in both a text and a tweet. I’m proud of this, The H is not.
– I grocery shopped with normal folk. See this for reference.
– I can cook…very well.
– I finished my first freelance writing project.
Back to my previously (unscheduled or scheduled) considerations. Adios amigos.